Paranoid

I've left you feeling paranoid? Aww, isn't that a real shame, you don't give me a reason to trust you with you, I throw the blame. I can not forgive or forget things you've put me through, you've hurled your hate toward me what am I supposed to do? You treat me like I'm sh!t I've been a part of your life, it wasn't me, that slept around blame that on your ex wife. You go on and brag about girlfriends you had in the past, I'm my own individual person I feel this relationship won't last. You call me a wh*re with every chance you get, try looking it up in a dictionary you'll find the real meaning, yet. You don't know the real meaning stop pretending you are smart, I'm smarter than you give me credit for you're an ugly work of art. Try being a real man someone I can trust, stop looking at other women after them, I know you lust. Stop your damned rubbernecking you can pretend you don't look, I'm glad you feel paranoid I can read you like an open book. I want to trust you but I don't think I ever can, stop doing sh!t behind my back stand up and be a real man. I know I'm not that pretty stop rubbing it in my face, it's what counts on the inside you look at me in disgrace. I am happy you are paranoid it serves you damn well right, stop thinking about other women maybe I'll give up this fight. You don't give me a reason to trust you with you, I throw the blame, I've left you feeling paranoid? Aww, isn't that a real shame. Copyright Cynthia Jones Apr.29/2015 This is what my depression does to me. It makes me write exactly how I feel. It's not a good thing, because I don't want this to come out. I've kept this sh!t bottled up for years and if writing about it releases my stress...I'll write. It's better than lying to myself, knowing damn well, my life is not all fine and dandy.