Paperthin Dreams

I'm sorry, I just can't do this Wait why apologize, I'm not sorry I can't go through with it anymore holding my tongue This isn't fair; IT'S NOT FAIR My hand is close to broken strong arm broken, seven piles of dust and regrets, I have none except I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED MORE Where is another brick wall I need this pen, I don't want to break it JUST MY HAND I HATE ALL OF THIS I HATE ALL OF THIS I'd be better off living in a tree or hanging from its branch, dangling JUST CARVE OUT MY HEART AND LEAVE ME BREATHLESS I can find my own way home just hand me back the map I lost when I was walking alone One question that's burning more than the flame already gone out: why give me so much hope something to shoot for if you're just going to take it all away if you know in pain, I'll just cry out your name in vain THIS CAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN all I ever wanted, of course to me she was everything but FOR THREE YEARS FOR THREE YEARS she's been someone else's, someone else's a chasm of emptiness it's more than emptiness more than loneliness more than an enigma I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS Nobody can show me it's my flaw nobody can tell me they don't know what's wrong because my voice is silent to them I'll tell no one Just leave my hand to burn just leave my mind to numb Between you and me if I had the chance I know I'd do it all over again SOMEBODY FIGHT ME SOMEBODY HIT ME I'VE GOT THREE YEARS OF BLIND SIDED RAGE READY TO UNLEASH from all the pain I've endured from all the b.s. shoved down my throat I'M JUST A TICKING TIME-BOMB WITH A BROKEN HEART because I'm so sick of believing even though I'm only 15 I'm only 15 there could possibly be someone right for me And last Thursday I found her but it was all in my head BUT THREE YEARS PRIOR WHILE I WANTED A FIGHT she was with somebody else... ...she was with somebody else... WHY DOES EVERYTHING I WANT COME WITH A PAINSTAKING PRICE I WANT TO FIGHT, NOT LEARN BUT LEARNING IS WINNING I WANT TO LOVE, NOT HURT BUT HURT KEEPS PUNCHING MY WEAKNESS and all I have to me are these last 5 pages all there is left to me are my paperthin dreams which none are coming true I can't be everyone I can't be them I can't be you I can't even be me in a flashback a plastic smile plastered on my face I've lost touch with happiness, happiness I could never know IT'S BEEN 4 YEARS 4 STRUGGLING YEARS SINCE I'VE TRULY SMILED, TRULY FELT ALIVE I thought she was it I trusted she was it I placed a heart around her when I saw her first she could have been maybe in a different time but somebody please tell me that I'll be alright Crossfade, can you help me here cause everything's wrong Breathing slowly's not helping I'm trying to be already gone but this dead skin is binding me I never meant to be so cold just drown her out of my mind...but I can't I can still hear her voice ringing in my ears NO! ...NO! ...no? I taught myself this lesson once before with a different means Why haven't I learned yet Why do I have to ask these one-sided dead end questions I don't care anymore I don't know anymore I'm already weak from fighting with air Time to fall asleep again Hopefully I can forget but I know it's a lie I could tell myself I don't care even though I care with all I am even the eyes watching me but could never know me can tell what I'm thinking because my eyes keep roaming to the girl of my dre... This isn't fair... this...just isn't fair She meant everything... she was the girl of my...dreams... or so I thought...