PANTS TOO LONG
PANTS TOO LONG
PANTS TOO LONG*
I'm just a little short guy
and sometimes I don't fit
Not into society but
into the clothes I buy, to wit:
Shirt sleeves come in 32/33
but the 33 just doesn't fit me.
I could go custom but then you see
I'd pay a lot for a 32 sleeve.
So I'm stuck with a size that's just
too big for me.
And socks are worse, for sizes aren't just two.
They come "one size fits all" but none will
fit on you.
They stretch from 6 to 12 and if you're
less or more
there's nothing left for you
in the whole darn big store.
I bought some bedroom slippers
just the other day
And to the clerk I'd say, "I need an 8 and
I will pay"
But the clerk would then reply,
"It's 8/9, no 8 on any day."
My waist at 35 inches is fine but
no pants on a rack can fit.
And 34 and 36 are in a line but the length
we'll have to omit.
So it's to a tailor I must go or to
a high-end store.
Off I went to the nearest Mall
and looked at shirts marked
Large, Medium and Small.
They even had XL and XXL and
everything for the very tall.
Those sizes don't make sense
for "small" just ain't made for gents.
So I must go to "Custom Joe" or to
Which will really be okay
to satisfy myself, I'd say.
But just when things couldn't go wrong
I remembered that old song,
"Sam, you made the pants too long."
And that ruined the rest of my day.
*After a full day of shopping for new clothes I was completely frustrated by size choices for the little guy like me. I just had to write something.
Copyright © Leonard Kleeman