Panic

jolt out of bed at 3 in the morning, my little voice screaming WHERE AM I? the reflection in the bathroom mirror is hazy WHO AM I? half of my brain sends a message and the other half denies it wash your face, it will calm you down NO! you will drown cry it out like you usually do NO! you will not be able to breath and turn blue go outside for fresh air it is summer and humid, ahhh more dispair i feel lost my mind is not in control I AM lost, i have lost my soul i cannot handle myself, WHY? my only outlet is to die... what is happening am i insane? how did this happen? i know there is no one to blame... i fell asleep perfect...and know i don't recognize it all seems different...Am i in disguise? i can't even snap myself into reality am i dying? i feel alone and confused it isn't even a dream that i can shake so i prayed hard, MAY THE LORD, MY SOUL TAKE im still here, just scared of the next time i cannot help but think, will i sink deeper or will i be just fine my only consolation is my faith in the LORD i live by him, like some live by the sword...