Overwhelmed

The loneliness is cold, It makes my skin blue I know these dark thoughts are lies and untrue I hate myself so much, why do not you? I want my insides to be freed from all food. My blood to be drained from my flesh and my skin Your make-believe lord to free me from sin Give this Devil worshipper what he deserves You know that's not the title, but you care not to learn I wish I could cry, but I have to endure This sickness inside of me which has no cure It's best to not anger, bottled feelings are obscure Violence was once frequent in my mind as immature I never took action on the words I never spoke No threats delivered, perfect grins I never broke Images flashed as they made my tongue taste blood Without self-control, they would've begged to not be touched How do I speak when I cannot move my tongue? How do I communicate with no air in my lungs? How do I utter words with a knife inside my throat? I require silence, but scream with voice I loathe You know, I cannot speak, I never spoke, I never will Yet your ears fail to hear facts, your senses might be ill Coated in an ignorance, no vibrations coming in Wordless threats using your mouth, accuse them all of sin Maggots eat the eyes, leave the flesh for rats to eat. The bones are picked from birds when the rats finish their feast. Bodily fluids drained from monsters such as me Skin melts and bones turn black as you embrace the heat Blood, sweat, piss, acid, and cum I am almost entirely numb Pain remains after you have succumbed It never ends, it is all you become