Opening the Fridge

I had an unusual reaction to opening my fridge today Two cardboard boxes from a long ago memory stood in my way And I found suddenly I no longer had the appitite to eat And with the palapating of my heart came the quickening of my feet And I - without thought - decided to hide from my past today Bruised knuckles and silent tears Even sunlit pictures are filled with hidden fears And a symbol or a number or a song or a smell Takes me by the eyes and drags me back into that hell And no memory is left to be sweet Every thought leaves me trembling at his feet I hurry to leave the heart throbbing sight The trigger following me into the height Of my paradoxal panic - that leaves me senseless And the memories flow of the nights I lay defenseless Two cardboard boxes stood in my way Active PTSD can transform a whole day.