Only One Listener

My mother tried to kill herself But I could only wonder why 'cause anytime I ask her She huffs and puffs and sighs I would assume its because Her life was really rough Or because she feels guilty For the way she damaged us I grew up with fear That everything would hurt me All because my mother Would hit me when I was thirsty. Now I'm an adult Who suffers from anxiety I get nervous when people talk too loud Because I'm so used to her screams at me If someone slams a door My heart starts to pound Because when she would get angry She'd slam the door and stomp the ground Then eventually That will lead To me and my siblings Obtaining her beatings At the time, that was life for us We didn't know much We thought that was real love. So I grew up And Hit the ones I loved Thinking that's how you show someone Love; Through a punch. Now that I'm finally starting to see the truth My depression is getting worse Because my conditioning is a fluke. Now I must Condition my self to become something so different And if I don't I'll end up alone The devil is here He's the only one who's listening