Onion

You thought I was all raw, naked and vulnerable, when you tore me apart, like a child eagerly tearing up a gift wrapper on a Christmas present. I'm not a gift that you can sink your hands in, and take every bit of me! I'm an onion....yes, an eternal onion! Forever you'll remove every layer of me, only to surprise you with another layer; harder and more painful for you to see! Word Count: 72 Date of Entry: 18/11/2016

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 12/19/2016 6:19:00 AM

Congratulations on your high placement Teddy. A very deserving win for you! 7 ; )

Teddy Kimathi
Date: 12/21/2016 12:53:00 AM

Hi Connie. Thank you so much for your warm applause!! *^_^*

Kai Michael Neumann

Date: 12/18/2016 10:44:00 AM

Ouch. That hits. And touches emotions and memories. An eternal onion, well done. Congratulations on your win, Kai

Teddy Kimathi
Date: 12/19/2016 2:30:00 AM

Thank you so much Kai, for your kind applause, and enjoying my piece!!! :-)

Afzal Nusker

Date: 12/18/2016 12:07:00 AM

Wow, an eternal onion...what a perfect metaphor to express your defying strength against the bad. I loved your last four lines. Congrats on your win, Teddy.

Teddy Kimathi
Date: 12/19/2016 2:29:00 AM

Hi Afzal. Thank you so much for your warm applause, and enjoying my piece!!! *^_^*

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 12/17/2016 3:40:00 PM

I think you did this well Teddy, congrats.

Teddy Kimathi
Date: 12/19/2016 2:26:00 AM

Greetings, Richard. Thank you so much for your applause, and enjoying my piece!!! :-)

Anu Nayak

Date: 12/17/2016 1:33:00 PM

Dear Teddy, awesome:) Congrats on your win!!loved the metaphor! Surprising with the strong inner core to the abuses hurled!Inner strength here!!! love, Anu:)

Teddy Kimathi
Date: 12/19/2016 2:23:00 AM

Thanks so much for enjoying my piece, Anu!!! *^_^* I really love using metaphors.... I thought this poem would inspire us and others, when our esteem or identity is faced by adversity from outside. Regards, Teddy ;-)