Once Upon a Tom

Once upon a Tom, When he had nothing on, A foolish man seemingly calm Stood before his door Need I say more? The police came quite quick, Said he was mentally sick, Threw a blanket over him, To cover his naked limb They hauled him off to jail, Said there was no bail, Indecent was not the charge They said his body was too large No one needed to see his flesh And his physique did not seem to mesh As his feet were too big, And he wore a pubic wig, So ten years he had to serve, Because he had such nerve, To scare the neighbors away, And so they still do say Too much Tom On one's hands, Stifles up The strongest glands Now in long years inside his cell, The tale of a naked Bell Is what every inmate will tell Was surely a sight from hell.