Once Upon a Hundredth Time Pt 1

Once Upon A Time- For now the hundredth time it seems. A ray of hope shines through- And it illuminates my dreams. The fear arises quickly- As it builds up in my chest I pause and wonder now- What separates him from the rest? Am I obliviously blinded- By his sweet words, and his smile? Or is this genuinity- A gem that's made my Hell worth while? I think back to those days- Where distanced love was all we knew. And I reminisce in the feelings- And the emotions, bright and new. We bonded over laughter- And over countless conversations. We both knew from the start- our love need not an explanation. I cannot help, however- But to wonder what collapsed. How did we find such a darkness- With such a mesmerizing past? I guess to better understand- I must retrace our steps. I'll dig to find the roots of- Both our passions and regrets. . From the moment that I realized- We were soulmates, intertwined Traced to moments, things had shifted- To the heartaches we'd find. The way that he conseptualized- And challenged my perceptions.. Inspired inward exploration- Paving paths in new directions. As though he cracked a code of sorts- Breaking boundaries in my mind. Freeing me from shackles- With keys impossible to find. I can't quite understand it- But it's safe for me to say He instilled in me self purpose. And actually made me want to stay. It's not possible to illustrate- A life of longing for the end. Which now evolved to a desire- To finally let my life begin.