Once

Once I was innocent, my brain was cleansed of toxicity. My thoughts were watched, monitored, and edited so that my innocence would last. Once I was quiet because I thought that if I didn’t speak, I would not make a mistake, but we all know no one is perfect so that didn’t last very long. Once I was lost in a deep sea of regret. It’s waves too big for me. It’s current too strong for me. It’s depth too deep for me. It dragged me under the surface. I almost drowned. Almost. Once I was confident. Every step I took made people glare in envy. Every word I spoke released shivers of confidence. Everything I touched shuddered at my radiations. Nothing stood in my way, nothing blocked my confidence, I would hold onto it, hug it forever. But then forever fell apart.