On My Loneliness

AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL My childhood spent without peers alone and prey to my fears. Nights spent face buried in my pillow my emotions  like a weeping willow. The school kid disliked and attacked like a player continuously sacked. Bruises and scars physical, cuts deep and salted, emotional. Not a friend not even one or an adult there to help - none. You look to the skies for relief but lessons taught come with grief. Our life books come  prewritten  set in stone, can't be rewritten. Loneliness moves  in, year after year without choice you hide behind a veneer. You give up on living  focus on just existing. Sorry, I have to stop here. This story now transcends  rhyming, calls for a voice free just to speak. Loneliness has many faces. I imagine one of the most intense state of loneliness is losing a loved one.  A planet of three billion would feel empty.  I have witnessed my mothers chagrin after losing my father. Happy partners a lifetime long and suddenly  she is one of two.  You do the math. They were two who became one. Now she is alone cut down the middle add her pain and she is barely half.  There is no crowd that could fill her void. There is no amount of family love  that could fill the hole in her heart. My pain was different. I just had a wish to belong, to have one friend, one love, or just to have a hand to hold. When you're abandoned, ridiculed, and disliked by everyone even by people who don't even know you, you have no choice but to hide. My loneliness turned me into a critter that could curl up into a small ball. Still I had hope. I wished someone could love me. Love me for my gentle ways, my giving nature and my open arms. 18~11~2014 Sponsor: frank herrera Contest Name: FACES OF LONELINESS WRITE ABOUT LONLINESS FROM YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE....MUST BE AUTO BIOGRAPHICAL.