Oh Sweet Mother

Once in a while There was "I love you" More than often Lies come before the truth In eyes flooded like a river There was never me For A mere silent moment There was you Emotions like a pendulum Swinging ever through Imaginary walls That I called trust One too many broken I lose my breath Skin a light hint of blue I held my tongue Desperately gasping Choking on my youth Never another silence A war within my cage A war fought for you I died a few times Unnoticed by the few Never changing, emotions flew Pierced my armor Meant only to scare, I hoped But only as I hang from this rope May I ever know the truth I loved you as my mother You abhorred me like never before Oh dear mother, I understand I abhor me, too Though a barrel rests upon my head You whispered quietly "Shoot"