Ode To Samantha

Mummy’s cat Samantha is as old as can be Mummy’s cat Samantha doesn’t really like me She sleeps in dad’s chair, like she’s under a spell Nothing ever disturbs her, till I give out a yell You should see her run when I starts up my din Once they went and found her in an old drum tin She’s terribly senile, she’s lost all her spring Mostly she sleeps getting hair on everything Mummy thinks she marvellous, intelligent and bright I think she’s a dummy and a real parasite And when she goes a missing, it’s a real catastrophe Where’s Sammy? Find Samantha our little Princess Mummy knows she’s an alley cat but will never confess And she runs around the house calling everywhere And stupid old Samantha, doesn’t even care All she wants is her bickies and juicy rump steak For me yuckie vegies, of the best SHE partakes Every day they cut her meat up all tiny and fine But nobody seems to care about cutting up mine Poor dear little Samantha, I’m just horrid they say She not a proper *****, and never wants to play She never rubs against your legs, or purrs friendly like I wish I had a dog, like my best friend Mike She’s so terribly old, and such a big bore So I’m gonna tell her about China and Singapore Where they eat cats for dinner, if they don’t act nice And play with little boys and get rid of the mice What does she think of as she sleeps in the grate Probably of Samuel her friend and her mate How when they were young together they’d stand guard Hunting all the insects and birdies in our yard Now those days have gone, so has Samuel her love Now you cannot budge her, except with a shove Dear little Samantha as she sits and day dreams I sneaks up behind her and REAL LOUDLY SCREAMS!