Ode To My Nalgene

O dearest container, how lost I am without thee. Simply put, I need you, or my mouth would be deserty. You’re filled with life, a liquid born of the gods, or rather their pee. O gasp, what strife, if I were to lose my pod, I couldn’t live without ye. O dearest container, I fear I have goofed. For after I laid with her you disappeared with a poof! I called and I texted, she must be well rested, you’ve got me all stressed. Just then the phone rang, and I shot off with a bang, to retrieve my beloved from her shame. O dearest container, we are reunited. I may now be happier, but we haven’t yet fighted. How dare you go and stay with a woman, she is mean, she is cruel, she is unkind, she even might have washed you. You belong with me and my bosom, I’m sure it was her who made you so blind, for no one may wash ‘ol blue.