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Obsession Part 6

Desperate, I ponder on your death, scant breath expended twixt the two of us, and loneliness an ache too harsh to mention. With pen in hand and no one to subscribe, I'll never know the softness of your skin, or search your heart to find what lies within. Should I be bold, or take a gentler path? Encourage you... would I incur your wrath? If you should die I'd never know your truth, and I would lose the vigour of my youth.

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Amy Green

Date: 5/17/2010 10:19:00 PM

ok, that's messed up! Come on! He's supposed to get the girl! Kidding...this was, all of it, an incredible work. Not a poem, not a verse, but art.

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 3/10/2009 3:50:00 PM

Now I really am crying, Keith. Losing such love does seem to steal away the vigor of our youth. You brought back sad memories, but thank you for taking me on this wonderful journey in your relationship with a woman who truly inspired you. Absolutely magnificent, and heart-wrenching at the same time! Thank you for sharing this with me. Love your writing! (I actually prefer longer works like this over the haiku and footles. Thanks again, Carolyn

Vince Suzadail Jr.

Date: 12/5/2008 6:57:00 PM

This was an interesting collection. It seems each portrait, a little more had slipped away. In the sixth portrait it feels as though regret was more prevalent for lost time. This was exceptional. I didn't want to respond until I had read all of them. You are gifted. Vince

Valerie Bellefleur

Date: 12/5/2008 1:31:00 PM

You write like Poe! Soooooooo beautiful! I am trying desperately to find the piece of poetry I heard on a movie called Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield and his English teacher of whom I do not know the name, read a piece from Ulysses which began.. and was a flower and I don't know the rest but she read it so beautifully - does anyone know what on earth I am talking about! Much appreciated if you Keith or someone knows what I am talking about!

Denis Joe

Date: 12/1/2008 2:52:00 AM

The rhymed lines read like Poe at his best. that is not to say that this is a copy only that it captures that profound sense of emptiness. The structure of this is novel in that you do not seperate the poem into distinct stazas. At first it felt disjointed, but after reading it again it works really well. 'With pen in hand and no one to subscribe' is where the poem changes and it is a good line to use and to highlight a change.

Date: 11/30/2008 5:12:00 AM

Thank you for sharing this story with us. There is a lot of depth in this concise poem. Much for the reader to ponder. Nice work! Thank you also for your kind words regarding my etheree. Keep on writing! Karen

Michelle Mac Donald

Date: 11/29/2008 10:56:00 AM

Why YOU, what ever happened to the 'happily ever after', Keith? Oh well, this is magical and so very sweet. Whoever that was had travelled far away from the prehistoric times when they may have dragged the wench off by her hair....hehe You truly are amazing, loved these poems, Keith! God bless you and yours...have a great weekend! Love, Mikki

Robin L. Gass

Date: 11/29/2008 8:16:00 AM

It is a beautifully written story. Deep soul searching reflection. I tried to find (on this site) "A portrait of A Lady" to better understand it (I am gaining quite a list for my winter reading!) but either way this was a very beautifully wriiten piece of art and it stirred a lot of deep emotion within as I read it. Very rich in imagery and beautiful phrasing. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent . You are an inspiration. Love Robin