Numb

I just want to be numb. Without passion, or perversion. Where I can smile vacantly, and walk unwaveringly. Where everything that was means nothing, the battles of today cease, and the worries of tomorrow have no control over me. I just wish to be numb. Here I could breathe, not dread where my thoughts would lead me. See through untainted eyes that couldn't go astray. Where I wouldn't have to fear where my flesh would lead me, how I could ruin the brightest of days with my hidden sick twisted ways. I just pray to be numb. Holding back everything that used to be. Passionless, nothing to make me hate me, question everything I believe, I wish I could conceive, be free, a world of an emotionless me. Why can't I just be, fade into the oblivion that I used to seek, numb... able to ignore the world that tried so hard to engulf me.