Nowhere To Hide

A definite air permeates When in the walls of my room Projected productivity is it? Or rather the reflection of what those expect of me Identity found... lost, through my grasp Hard to dicier or fully know Craving change, something swift Yet nothing short of raw, with nature as my muse Possibilities seem infinite, away from these parts Just the sheer art of crossing unforeseen paths Evoking my soul and lust for life, I sit and wait As if the trust I should place in myself lies agape Too close to home, I feel exposed To judgements, expectations, and morale I hope I lack By that I mean from their skewed sightings of things And so the awe of discovery calls me Replacing shame, resistance, anger, yet- Through times of stagnancy I surely say... Have I truly surpassed these past felt ways? Assured, I realize triggers do arise, often times Standing in the kitchen, pacing the halls, walking Phone calls, a pause, anticipated familial talks...it all Tales to be told to the generation to be A family I will hold dear, never inflict previous cycles upon Shared highlight reel of what once was, and everything in between