Not Drinking and Driving

Something happened to me a few years ago that was really bizarre. I was arrested for drinking and driving but I've never owned a car. I thought that I must have been dreaming, it couldn't possibly be real. How could I drink and drive when I've never owned an automobile? I asked the District Attorney if it was a prank or a joke. Even though I've never had a license, it was revoked. I hadn't had a drink for a long time, not even one beer. After I was arrested, the judge sent me to jail for two years. One year after I got out, something else happened that was just as insane. Even though I've never touched drugs, I'm in jail for buying cocaine. (This is a fictional poem.)