No Viking Way

For days now, my wife, i and some friends, have been working on costumes for Viking's day at our up coming Renaissance festival, went suddenly Poetry Fever hit, this is the result---hope you enjoy it---God Bless No Viking Way I used to be like Hagar The Horrible Wearing things that were despicable and deplorable But now those days have past I stopped dressing like an ass And the way I look today, is just adorable I stopped killing wild animals for fur Thought the anger from the Gods it may incur I just have to make my stance And start wearing woolen pants I'm sorry, this is one pot, I must stir Yes, I'm laying down my sword and my axe No more Nordstroms, I'm shopping down at Saks I'm over leather, Yes it's true a polyester blend will do I saw one that I liked, at MaraMax So, say goodbye to the horns upon my head It's time I think, to put those things to bed With some silk and some cotton The old way's soon forgotten The Brand New Viking way is here instead Now it's true, it's gonna take some work To stop dressing, like some big bad crumby jerk But with our influences and our passion We'll create a whole new fashion And when they see how Hot we look They'll go Berserk