No Toilets In the Sky - 2021 Version

[To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)] * Heaven’s almost everywhere but mainly upon high Santa Claus delivers there cos he’s that kind of guy The lack of any lavatory almost made him cry He tried to keep his legs crossed but he dribbled from the sky He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky The holy choir tinkles as they travel on their way Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today They have no private place to pee which fills them with dismay For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way Gabriel is struggling cos he’s been out on the beer His guts are throwing tantrums and he tries to plug his rear He knows he’s gonna poop his pants that fact is fairly clear For there’s no public toilets... in the upper atmosphere He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky Saint Peter has some turbulence and says a little prayer He needs to poop and piddle but there’s nowhere private there He’s sure he gonna throw up and become a vomit sprayer For there’s no public toilets... in the ozone layer Satan’s uncle pooped himself, how will he show his face Public humiliation, he’s in permanent disgrace He couldn’t hold it in although he found no private place For there’s no public toilets... on the edge of space He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky Grim, the reaper belched and burped, his tummy grumbled loud His fart was wet but silent, he was glad because he’s proud Grim is really trying not to throw up over crowds For there’s no public toilets... high above the clouds The angel doubled up and squirted out a putrid spray Santa Claus got splattered as the reindeer pulled away All kinds of hell will rain upon a Yuletide Earth this year For there’s no public toilets... in the stratosphere He needs to go He needs to pray No toilets in the sky 7 October 2021 Contest: The Throne In Heaven Sponsor: Jack Webster And Contest: Change The Record Sponsor: Natasha L Scragg