No Friends

Friend. Something I do not have but yearn for. Mother, Sister Cousin, Boyfriend a Friend but not best friend. I put a guard because in the end I trust no one. And that is my downfall because I have no one to talk to. To tell my fears, worries, ups and down. They say when you get older friends become irrelevant. But I feel like a true friend is important to have in life. How can I be surrounded by so many people but feel so alone? How can I have so many friends but really have no friends Ps. Have written anything in a long time.Idk if its really a peom just wanted to get some of my emotions out.