Nina
Good morning Steph, today's the twentieth.
It's Syd's birthday and I've been thinking of you.
I bought her a cake yesterday, chocolate and vanilla swirled.
I thought of calling your mom,
but she always disappears this time of year.
She wants to be alone with you.
Instead I bought another cake
just for you,
like I always do.
A red velvet, I think you'd like it.
I woke up this morning all alone and went to the frig,
pulled out your cake and cut a slice.
My eyes filled with tears but you know I don't cry
so I closed my eyes and wished you a happy birthday
and let just one slip by,
just for you.
It's been a while since we shared your last birthday together.
Yours on the nineteenth and Sydney's on the twentieth,
eighteen years apart.
Sydney was just one.
Just the family,
the four of us
and you and your mom.
We joked and laughed.
Who knew in a few months you'd be gone.
We all felt so helpless after the accident,
but there was nothing we could do,
just be there for your mom.
She stayed with us for days afterward.
Then there was Granddaddy, you were like his own daughter.
One of the last things he said to me before he passed away
was, "I know my times over
but I'll surely be happy to see Stephanie again."
I hope your together.
Sydney's fourteen now.
Funny thing, when she was two,
three times she was looking over her moms shoulder, entranced.
Her mom asked, "What are you looking at?"
Her response was, "Nina."
Heather made up that name for you
when she was only three. I remember,
out of the blue, she looked at you and said "Nina."
You looked at her quizzically and said, "My name's Stephanie."
She said, "No, it's Nina."
You said, "OK," and she called you that from then on.
We found out years later that she blamed herself for your death,
and she was the most hurt by it.
She loved you so much.
She didn't understand.
She was only six.
Stephanie, such a beautiful,
gentle
young woman
You were the first to leave us
and by far the hardest.
I would have taken your place in a moment
if only to keep the tears from you mom's eyes.
Love you Nina,
miss you.
03/19/16
Copyright © James Inman | Year Posted 2016
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