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Next Level

This waiting to get a year older is not fun anymore .. not worth the party nor the cake cannot dance long looking disheveled i'd like to go to the next level can't stand the knee swelling and the teeny weeny dwellings This waiting to see bad things happen to good people - done got old.- can't cry no more.. the end of fun. the last days, at least for some. the good die young. This waiting now minutes / hours the good get devoured This waiting to get a year older is insane. but I will remain. to die for a better cause

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David Williams

Date: 5/12/2014 5:12:00 PM

Hi Vicky Hello, there is nothing wrong with your words per-se the problem is you have labelled it wrong, this is not alliteration and that in itself puts a lot of readers off from reading peoples work...also when anyone labels their work as 'I don't know' it is also a put off, .don't know if this is the answer you are seeking.....David

Vicki Acquah
Date: 11/21/2015 9:21:00 PM

basically i would like to know the form ..

Vicki Acquah
Date: 5/12/2014 9:23:00 PM

Thank you that maybe a problem .. I do not know every form I write so maybe i will just use the word ballad or free verse- I write from what i feel for people to Identify with the feeling ...I will study harder to learn forms , If it means that much as to the substance and tone .Thanks a lot that's helpful.