New Chapter In Life

i may put my defense up in my castle, i think i made a mistake, i may be drunk i don't no what it takes, i stand in front of the mirror, seeing my reflection with red eyes, he's still Alive what a lie, he's my angry inside he's my reason why i write at night, what did i expect accepting myself for who I am , he's still here if i chained him he'll still break loose once my angry hits, he's slick to come with ****, itself has the pain i keep away, i see the red sea from my throne, i feel the heat rise as if the sun is touching the ground, all around i hear his laugh he points out my flaws as if i don't see them, i know i defeated you two years ago, you had more strength than me, i over come the odds as i go, a place I used to love to enjoy until, you came you took over my place to the point i had only two space in my eyes that interpret my reality is, but i do thank you i did let you see what reality is a cruel place right?, at night you find me in my castle writing my pain, my brain cant sleep if does then i wont wake up, thats deep to say, ill stay this is my place i create if you want to stay then i must learn how to deal with my emotions. finally i find myself walking down Fayette ave, where my life start and fell apart, in a house that had a strange vibe, now its empty and hollow, as i follow myself into it, where i see the blur pictures on the walls, i wonder if they heard all the secrets that was discussed, would they talk back to tell me the problem i find to be blind to, i know there talking in silent, so peaceful and calm i wonder if we're the problem, the bad vibe that comes back and breaks the little stuff that turns bigger, as you fix it now how does this **** make sense, up the stairs into my room i find a box tied, try to figure out why there box inside my mind, wait i know why he left it for me, the piece i been looking for, back at the mirror where it started it all, the great big fall, the reason why my walls filled with my writing faded, holding the piece to my life i can see why i put the first pillar here, the chains wrapped, the cut marks deep close to break not will break, i see the pain he left inside, i see what i decide to repaint over them, looking at my reflection that is blur, putting my last piece in no longer a blur, i see my child side smile as it fades into my preteen self smile as now i see my real reflection stare at me, no red eyes, no more lies i put inside my mind; all i have is myself with a book filled with lines. these walls are my blank expression, where ill write a new chapter to my novel of my life.