Never Had Such a Hard Time Trying To Do Myself In

I tie the perfect noose Pull tight on the cord Kick the chair from underneath me As my feet both touch the floor I take the electric toaster Set it on the edge of the tub Knock it into the water But forget to plug in the plug Laid myself down on the train tracks Waiting for the 9:05 Little did I know my watch had stopped Right at a quarter till 9:00 I step out into traffic Sure this is my last deed in life Not knowing it was a crosswalk And I was at a red light I found the tallest building On my city block Made my way to the top floor Where none of the windows unlocked Never had such a hard time in life Trying to do myself in Apparently I need a new tactic Apparently I need a new plan Think I'll just go to bed Catch me some much needed winks Maybe when I wake up I'll have died in my sleep