Naked In Disgrace

I fell into lust again And in the deepest parts of me  there's things I can never unsee I try to drink away the pain But I swear it's driving me insane Am I a victim to lust Or am I the one with the loaded gun That you should never trust Is it ok to say that I'm scared Is it wrong to admit that I know you cared But when it was all said and done I was never there I'm a prisoner of my mind And the pain inflates with time Most nights I wish I never knew existence When I try to do what's right I fall under the resistance I've lost the words to pray I'm digging up the dirt To create my own grave I've lost the light of grace Laying naked in disgrace How can I dream of becoming a better man When i can't summon the strength to stand God Why have I forsaken you You say forgive them for they know not what they do But what if that's just it What if I know what I do Still I seek the road of lies When I know the truth Please tell me why I can't change Please I'm begging you I'm so tired of living in chains I long to know joy I long to feel peace But at the end of the day All I know is deceit I surrender my all Please catch me when I fall