Mytimeline

So it's January the 10th and I just ended my never happy after modern fairytale with the umpteenth guy who has gained access to the fragile shallow chambers of what they normally call a 'heart'...(for me it's just some very stupid love-thirsty mind rather). Instinctively I tell penguin(my bff) ? what just took place to which she replies "sorry dear" and a conversation about wifi connections resume. I mean??????dude I'm supposed to be heartbroken and you being the better half sister supposed to be making me feel less miserable but hey the wheel has turned "..hearts not getting broken, eyes forever open and time's forever frozen still.." It doesn't hurt, nothing does anymore. Someone though,?? was telling me that I have an inbuilt emotional system which makes it so basic to feel the need to be loved and to love which when I came to think of it made sense although in contrary with my reality?. Okay..**takes a deep breath**so maybe I'm just scared to try again or to confirm that love is dangerously amazing but it can't be love I'm scared of or the preconceived savage chocolate slice of heartbreak dipped in milky betrayal and broken bubbly promises...its something beyond these "wide shut eyes"..(to be continued) ?