My Wall of Shame

I wonder what you think of me, I wonder what you see. I know you don’t see my authentic self, I know you don’t see me. Do you see this wall I built for you? I made it on my own. It started with simple doubts and lies. Can you see how tall it’s grown? I turn away from friends and loves, I deserve to be alone. Who wants this broken person? Whose holes need to be sown? I tried to paint these walls for you, I put your picture in a frame. But doing so I lost myself, I don’t even know my name. I tried to decorate my past, So you really couldn’t see… All the things I did to you. All the things I did to me. I ask for your forgiveness, changed I say I’ll be. But can I really do this? I’m fooling no one but me! I say I’ll rise above this, I say I’ve changed my ways. I’m waiting for you to believe me, I’m counting down the days. Will you ever really look at me and really see my pain? I have nothing left to lose and a whole person left to gain. They say that at the bottom, they’ll be a light from up above. I hope it will embrace me, I hope I will feel love. Will you ever learn to trust me? My lies were great I know. I’ve done nothing but deceive you, I’ve never been so low. I’m asking for a second chance, Well by now it’s three or four. I’m breaking down this wall I built; I’m tearing down this door. I’m opening up my soul to you; I’m laying it on the line. I’m asking you to look inside this HELL I would call mine. I’m holding out my hand to you, this gamble I will take. If you take this walk with me, this promise I will make… I’ll be the friend you’re looking for, so true to you I’ll be. I know I have a lot to prove, Just please believe in me. I’m looking in the mirror, This face I think I know. I think I met her once before, Wherever did she go? It’s good to see her smile again; her laugh is good to hear. It’s good to know a friend like her, has always been this near. I say I sought my soul today, but my soul I could not see. So I sought my “higher power” And that too eluded me. But when I sought a friend like you, Somehow I found all three.