My_True_Identity.Sas
Data Birth;
INFILE 'C\Fathersperm\Motheregg\9_months\The_One_Of_Shadows.txt';
INPUT FNAME = 'Yoni'
LNAME = 'Dvorkis';
Var Hidden_Meaning = "SAS code is not meant to be poetry you nut job";
Run;
Data Child;
Set Birth;
Where Age >= 4;
Var Worldview = Parents_Worldview;
Var Facial_Expression = compress('Fear'||'Bewilderment'||'Jews believe in guilt');
Run;
Data Teenager;
Set Child (Drop= Innocence, Baby_Fat, Cheerful_Disposition);
Where Age >= 15 and BAC_Level >= .01;
Var Worldview = (Peer_Pressure * 100) + Favorite_Teacher_Worldview
- Parents_Worldview;
Var Hidden_Meaning = "Where are you going with this?";
Run;
Data Adult;
Set Teenager (Keep= Anger, Intelligence, Need_For_Material_Wealth, Hatred_Towards_Body
Drop= A_Sense_Of_Security_In_An_Unforgiving_World);
Var Job_That_Slowly_Kills_You = "Healthcare Data Analyst and SAS Programmer";
Var Worldview = (Company_Mission_Statement + Family_Is_Most_Important)
/ Screw_Everyone_Else_I_Have_My_Own_Problems;
Where Age >= 21 and BAC_Level >= .15;
If Yearly_Salary >= 100,000 then
Self_Esteem = "Now I'm worth something!!";
Else if 50,000 <= Yearly_Salary < 100,000 then
Self_Esteem = "I guess I should count myself lucky...";
Else if Yearly_Salary < 50,000 then
Self_Esteem = ______;
Var Hidden_Meaning = "Jeez, you're really laying it on thick with the salary stuff";
Run;
Data Old_Man;
Set Adult;
Where Age >= 65 and Yearly_Salary = "Whatever's left of Social Security";
Var Cynical_Being =
(Why_Did_It_Have_To_End_Like_This * Years_Hiding_In_Plain_Sight )
- The_Will_To_Keep_Going;
Run;
Proc sort data = Old_Man out = Old_Man_On_Deathbed nodupkey;
By What_This_All_Meant_To_Me;
Run;
Data My_True_Identity;
Merge Old_Man_On_Deathbed (in = a) God (in = b);
By _all_;
If b and not a;
Run;
Copyright © Yoni Dvorkis | Year Posted 2009
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.
Please
Login
to post a comment