My True Happiness

these thoughts that consume me arent the ones that used to be i dont know who i am anymore im lost cant you see i let myself slowly slip away from reality the blood that would run through my veins has turned black and im not sure if there is a way to turn back i dont recognize my mind anymore i dont even know how i got on the floor i am helpless or is it that i just dont want to be helped? i wanna let go of everything cuz nothing matters more i wanna be free and happy these thoughts of suicide are killing me inside i dont know how to decide if to take this knife to my throat or let my suffering choke me to death what am i waiting for it wouldnt make a difference the earth would keep rotating and the moon would go around the only difference is there would be one less in a world full of stress i mean think bout it when was the last time you remembered 'bout the last person that died or that u actually thought bout it so much that you cried probably a long time ago what would make it different with me?? no one understands thats the one true thing that would make me happy