My Superman

When will all the pain and heartache go away? Is this something that I must struggle with every day? I just wish that things would have been a little different, Maybe if I would have picked up the smallest little hint. Maybe he would still be here today, But now, in a grave is where his lifeless body lay. I should have made my brother tell me what me what he knew, I know he was only seven, but what if he knew what my dad would do. What if I could have stopped by asking just one more time, Maybe things would have turned out just fine. If only I would have paid more attention, or loved him more, Maybe he wouldn’t have questioned what he was living for. I would giving anything to see him just for one minute, To run into his arms, to say “this is it“. Would I have anything to say, Or would I just turn and walk away? A daddy is supposed to be his little girl’s hero, Her Superman, no matter how old she may grow. Although my dad is gone I love him with all my heart, I have questions that will never be answered, because from this life he chose to depart. His problems were too big for him by himself, I guess he had God sitting on an old dusty shelf. I just wish he would have taken God off that shelf one last time, Dusted Him off and said “God I need your help one more time.” If he could hear me I would tell him my sisters and brother are growing up fast, I wish I would have known that Christmas would be our last. I would have hugged you just a little longer and tried to remember everything, The smell of your cologne, your voice, but I didn’t know what that day in January would bring. I didn’t know that it would seem as if my world had come to an end, At that point everything stood still, time, even the wind. Now my Superman is gone forever, But if he can here me, I won’t forget you or stop loving you daddy…not ever. 8/9/04