My Sister Says

My sister says my father was a good man -- but, how should I, who never "knew" him (except as a far-from-good man) buy her stories? Am I, the last child of that union, too, too judgmental? Too far removed in time from what she knew and now recalls? My memory is of a different man, who died when I was twenty-two: one rarely present, never talking, often jailed, unsupportive -- someone I really never knew. He was no bearer of familial tales, no imparter of the history now I only wish I'd heard... Obviously, I differ from my sister about what constitutes a good man. He never seemed to feel that he needed to provide basics -- food, shelter, clothing, health care -- to his offspring -- and he almost never did...... I do remember how he staggered on the street, fell off of curbs, sought shelter and often could be found asleep -- or at least stretched out unconscious -- in some vacant lot; how he foraged frenziedly about for beer, or only Gallo muscatel (thirty-five cents for the flask). Should I not ask what makes my sister think I could remember him as does she? In such a different light? As victim, and maligned by inlaws or by circumstance? All I know is what I do remember, what I survived when she and others, grown, were gone. I do not think that I can accept or change (nor in absentia, forgive) -- and, no, I do not yet believe what my sister says.