My Secret

I’ve come to point in my life Where I can look into my eyes And say you are beautiful But I cannot look down. My face, I feel pretty My eyes have this exotic look The way my lips are shaped The way my nose is structured The way how everything comes together My face is beautiful that is only when. But when I look down, I seem to look away I see a body that I still have yet to love I see stretch marks that has been engraved into my skin I see the stomach that is always peeking out Like it’s playing peek-a-boo but more always visible I’ve had body image issue dating back to forever I’ve gone through certain extreme to feel skinny I’ve had certain moments where I gave up I’ve had certain moments where I love my body But now at age 19, I’ve never been so insecure I’ve gone back to methods I told myself I wouldn’t I have consistently weighed myself throughout the day and night I can’t eat the way I use to I’m mentally unstable to the point where I’m at war “What you’re doing is wrong!” “But its working” STOP! I just want to accept myself All of me, the flaws and the beauty But I can’t. And to be honest I don’t know when that will be.