My Painful Truth Part 2

Profoundly dumb, and so naiive. I've known the worth I've had- I just let you breathe death in me. Built a stairway made of gemstones- my feet were guided by their shimmers. Which then rotted away- to brutal truths, and baneful sinners. How many corpses built this house?- Or am I the only one? (But) again I now see differently- through the deeds that you have doneWhy can't I Seem to grasp it- that actions speak louder than words? I guess it's 'cause I'm desperate- to still believe all that I'd heard. The whispers left of memories- (and) moments stuck inside my head. Obsessed with recollecting- priceless moments, which now are dead. The butterflies that you gave me- triggered a drive to see this through. But now, if I am honest- I've given up on me and you. Why is it I stay, you ask?- I'll admit my painful truth. Please know that it is terrifying- to see my nightmares have come true. It's not because I still have hope- or think things will get better. It's not because I think you'll change - so that we'll grow old together. Although the hurt outweighs it now- I soak happy moments in. For when we finally fall apart- I'll never feel such things again.