My New Home

I stand in the rain, my heart filled with pain My clothes are covered with many bloodstains I look to the sky and begin to cry The heavens never opened when I was alive So why would they open now? To Him I still cannot bow For God has watched as my life has dwindled down And crumbled to nothing, yet I’m still left wanting I’ve accepted death, yet I’m still looking for something I fall to my knees, I beg and plead I need to go to heaven and see My sister to tell her, I’m sorry I never Understood when she said I needed to be better She kept telling me my lies, and helpless cries Would take me nowhere, and yet I never tried To hear what she said, now I’m close to dead The concrete underneath my final bed The water hits my face, a man fallen from grace I can’t stop the blood from spreading all over the place I’ll never see Heaven’s gates, the clouds never break I cannot amend for all my mistakes This is why I made a fist, no longer thinking of risks, I took the knife and cut deep into my wrists The pain is overbearing, draining, wearing I’m numb to it all, I’ve completely stopped caring The Devil joyously shouts, I can hear him cry out My soul was always his, there was never any doubt I did too much wrong, I was never strong Heaven was a place I never belonged I tell my sister I’m sorry, I don’t want her to worry I hope she can hear me, but the Devil’s in quite a hurry I hear the sirens bells, people calling for help But I’ve already left for my new home…Hell.