My Mother Thinks I'M a Doctor

My mother thinks I'm a doctor I just don't have the guts To tell her I spent all my college doe On beer, wine, women and such So after I faked my graduation Said I was moving to the South To help the less fortunate among us Another lie I let slip out I'm now in the south of Florida Where some may call me a bum Living in a citrus grove along the coast Not answering to anyone It's really not such a bad life This do nothing life I've made I hear my Moms proud of me at afternoon tea Telling the girls of all the lives I save I do my share of dumpster diving That's where I got the idea Behind a real doctors office one day With some of their stationary I nabbed I did a little doctoring After all I do play one in Moms mind Doesn't look to lame where I inserted my name Then wrote my Mom about the kids and the wife I've created such an elaborate charade It's now gotten all out of hand As I panhandle my way up and down The Sunshine states surf and sand Mom now says she wants to visit Can't wait to meet the wife and kids Don't know how I let it get this crazy And how it all lead up to this Now I'm scrambling to find a vacant house and a woman With a couple of kids that look just like me That can go along with a ruse for a week in mid-June Since I told her that's when I'd be free I'm thinking I should of studied in college Instead of being this mind numbing huckster Telling lie after deepening lie Just so my Mother would think I'm a doctor