My Mind, My Prison

Devoid of personality Devoid of emotion A dark mass of confusion A change when with him A change when with her Who am I? Why am I? My mind is broken. My mind is lost. I am not my own. Are they broken too? I don't know who I am. I change when I am not alone. I'm broken and empty when I am without. I long to be held. I long to be loved. I long to be in my own mind. I long to be loved for who I am. Too long I have wasted time appeasing others. Too long I have become someone else for them. Too long I have suffered in silent confusion. It is my turn. They should change to appease me. They should seek to make me comfortable. They should place me before themselves. They should suffer the way I have suffered? No. I am not they and they are not I. I seek to appease, they are who they are. Why ask them to change and to suffer like me? No one should be this lost. No one should be lonely. I am a shadow The ghost of a person The last drop of cologne Ever-present, but illusive to all. I will be fine, I have made it this far. I will fake it, how hard can it be? No one will notice, I am a master. Being alone is my greatest philanthropy. I will take this struggle. It is my own. I will run this race, world-renowned. I will not win, but I will help them thrive. It is mine, until the day I die.