My Mama Sits Alone

My mama sits alone, whilst all i do is roam. As the smoke loses its fire & the last conversation we shared turns to ash, she willfully breathes new life into the next perfect crime against her body. Nothing is what it seems in the realm of never-ending dreams.. Who will play her part today i wonder, as the next leading lady takes her position in the light. mama you think you are a prisoner in the blasphemy of a million tortured non-believers.. & that i am free??? Free to roam, whilst my mama sits alone? My shackles are heavy & steal, pink ribbons of blood upon them.. they never leave the company of my resilient heal. Barefooted & with constant grace, I drag along my own personal jail cell of hell.. as i give good face. Still, alone I roam as you sit at home.. Go on mama, LET the voices of a zillion reasons happily appease you, as i jump in the black, scary sea, i could sink to the bottom & take you all down with me.. at least the pain would be drowned & the happiness never found.. But.. you still will be mama, sitting alone.. whilst i freely roam.. right? I need you to swim to me in these dark & murky waters. The cruelest of cruel seas.. Please, bring me a life jacket & leave the fictional coast guards behind where they belong.. & mama, just swim like you did, so strong when i was a little girl on your back, remember? So strong, i felt the fight in your limbs, as you took each crucial breath when you needed oxygen to push on through, you never ever ever gave up until you reached the other end. All the while, with me on your back, you showed me how to NOT be alone.. you showed there was never a reason to roam.. direction & purpose with each stroke, in the pool of life you were, you are.. my only true centre.. & now, as you, mama, sit ALONE, with your smoke, in your home.. Sadly, i'm afraid that all i can do, is aimlessly ROAM. S.L.D