My Life Story

I remember… Being 3 and crying, screaming Because my mommy was leaving For a day at work, … dreaded hours As loneliness for her fell like black Rain drenching me in awful rejection I remember… Being 6 and climbing out of bed At dawn to finally ride the big yellow bus Enter the planet of kindergarten Where I would discover rich, new things And play harder than I ever had before I remember… Being 9 and reading every Little House book and wishing That I could be best friends with Jo From Little Women because she was Just like me, a tomboy – wild and free I remember… Being 12 and hearing God’s word From a pulpit that preached forcefully About Jesus who I would come to know As the One who saved me, heart and soul The One who I would follow forever more I remember… Being 15 and rebelling against everything Everyone who tried to tell me was wrong It seemed that I knew everything And I didn’t need anyone to tell me How to dress, how to drive, how to dream I remember… Being 18 and discovering that love Was more than just a kiss and a hug Love meant forgiving and forgetting Love meant listening to my heart tell me Love meant that I couldn’t be so selfish I remember… Being 21 and realizing that it was still her My wonderful mother, the center of my world Who would hold my hand when I couldn’t Bring myself to listen to the hard things Or reach beyond the hope to the real dreams I remember… Being 24 and learning what it means To love someone else more than your own Self, your own ideas, your own dreams I found that love means giving without conditions Offering another heart your very essence I remember… Being 27 and opening the door To inspiration through nature, through feelings Through the heaviness of grief The whispers of rain and snow The light that glows inside the soul I remember… Being 30 and celebrating my day With a pink cake that said I had aged Wouldn’t ever be 21 again, nor 29 either I had become a woman who believed In good things, dreams and Jesus I remember… Being 33 and thinking to myself It was at this age that Jesus left this world He went to be with His Father The One who created me to be Filled with a love that only He could bring I remember… Being 36 and wishing I could be Anyone but me, a heart who was anxious Filled with the anxiety of bipolar depression And worrying every moment it seemed Wishing I knew a better way so I prayed I remember… Being 39 and divorcing the man I had known As my friend and confidant, but also The one who had made me question myself Question my hopes, my dreams, my faith He had planted seeds of doubt I couldn’t oust I remember… Being 42 and discovering the heart Who beat away inside me, the heart Who I knew was anything but good But who I also knew believed in good Because Jesus was alive and understood I remember… Being 45 and dreaming big about things Going to college for the first time Passing tests that made me dread The moment when I’d see that grade Somehow, though, I passed everything I remember… Being 48 and listening to my spirit’s call As I spent more time writing my thoughts To the One who made me, created me To be His child, a reflection of His goodness The light that would shine for His world I remember… Being 51 and feeling my heart soar As time promised to give me a reason A season of hope, of dreams coming true Of blessings I’d never thought I’d know Precious gifts from the One who holds me up I remember… Being 54 and rising above my worries Uncovering a heart who I would love more Than I’d ever loved another man except Christ He is the answer to my prayers, the friend Who is always there, who always shares and cares I remember… But 57 doesn’t come around until the end Of 2022, when I will celebrate my birth Once again, praising the One I love most For the grace, the mercy, the hope and the faith To reach beyond my fears, my tears, my years I remember… God is in control and He knows me Better than I’ll ever know myself He has the answer to my every prayer The promises that makes me confidant I can do anything I need to with His hand holding me up! I remember… The light of my life… is alive, lives inside Where hope, faith and love always abide