My Gorgeous Lotus Blossom

My Gorgeous Lotus Blossom !!! There is not a day - glorious or gloomy - that goes by where visions bloom, of your beauty, fill my eye. After these empty, four years, my heart still burns. After these empty, four years, my soul still yearns. After these empty, four years, my spirit still turns over and over and over, yet nothing it learns. Beautiful Lady, why is it that I still love you so ? If you had a love for me, where did it go ? I see you from time to time, we do many things and to my heart, my spirit, joy it always brings. I realize, for you, I will be nothing more than a friend. I am perplexed, why did my last great love come to an end ? I know, while in your youth, you had to live, move on, and without any malice, you had to let it die, be gone. I do, so miss, your beauty, your Asian charm !!! I do, so miss, your Oriental essence upon my arm !!! Knowing, what I do, I wonder why I still hang onto you with such passion, with such delight, what am I to do ? Tell me Xiao Ling, why do I still fight against the obvious ? For I do know, in my mind, there will never again, be an us ! In my dreams, in my heart, in my soul, I cannot give up. For you are my life’s blood, continually filling my cup. Since we parted, I have been living a life of such futility, and I have to wonder ?, just how much of it is insanity. Loving someone like you, for me, what a great force !!! Losing that love, for some, for me, a matter of life’s course. An uneducated, indigent, disabled senior, thirty one year’s difference, I feel, I believe, the core reason why you chose to end our romance. For me my Dear, I never want to end such a beautiful dance !!! Every time I hear your sweet voice, I want another chance !!! Life doth slap this old fool in the face, with your reality. I have to accept, with grace, with me, never again will you be ! I do still love you so !!! This, you, very well know. You permeate ever synapse in my mind. Everywhere I go, everything I do, you I find, like a beautiful ghost haunting every moment, moments were I find, I am content. B. J. “A” 2 July 9th 2014

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Jan Allison

Date: 7/9/2014 1:33:00 PM

Oh Bill this is so sad but so touchingly beautiful. Guess we all look back to the past and yearning after a past love - Hugs Jan xxx

William J. Jr. Atfield
Date: 7/12/2014 11:04:00 AM

“ hugs and keep writing and posting my friend. ” Thank you Jan, and I will try, although, almost all of what I post comes from resurrecting stuff written years ago. “ It saddens me to see how many poems actually get read or get commented on ” I have to admit that I am as guilty as those who do not participate. Never seem to find the time to delve into this gold mine, as you are able to discern by the length of time it has taken me to discover your last commen,t and that was by accident, not intent !

William J. Jr. Atfield
Date: 7/12/2014 11:03:00 AM

There are a number of poets on this site who have thousands of reads and hundreds of comments and I think I know the reason why. Tit for tat !!!, or maybe it is, that they are just better poets ??? Any way my Dear, do not get discouraged and as for me, this was not even my idea to become a part of all this.

William J. Jr. Atfield
Date: 7/12/2014 11:02:00 AM

A young Oriental lady set it up and put it into action, otherwise all my stuff would still be among the pages of the seventy four volumes of my pictorial, biographical, autobiographical family history. Some eighteen thousand pages starting at four hundred AD, when our forefather left the Rhine Valley and migrated to England. Some twenty thousand photographs starting in the late eighteen hundreds and all this, probably, ending with my death . Anyway Jan, thank you for stopping by and for commenting / communicating . Hugs and kisses, my best wishes . B. J. “A” 2 ( Bill . )

Jan Allison
Date: 7/9/2014 5:12:00 PM

I can't believe how much i have written since February when I joined Bill. It saddens me to see how many poems actually get read or even better get commented on and I am looking elsewhere to see if i can find somewhere where works are more well read. hugs and keep writing and posting my friend. jan xx

William J. Jr. Atfield
Date: 7/9/2014 4:44:00 PM

My Dear Jan : I can see that it could be “ Oh Bill this is so sad ” my Dear, and thank you for “ so touchingly beautiful. ” the understanding, for that is how I see what we had and what we have, even if what we have has not the depth and passion of what we had. Keeping the desire alive, allows me to live in the present and treasure the moments we share today, while the past gives it a meaning that does not really exist, except in my mind, as we spend time together, hug, hold hands, have a shallow - hello / goodbye – kiss . I see that you have been very active and creative, so far this year, while I continue to resurrect my old stuff . Hogs and kisses to you Jan, and may your day be filled with all that your heart desires and your soul requires. Bill . ( B. J. “A” 2 )