My Daughter

So many times I wish I could stop the drama, pain and all that comes her way. She won't let me in. Doesn't she realize that I was young too? I went through a lot like her. Maybe not the exact same thing, but so similar. Sure I had the crazy times my parents never knew about. It scares me she will too. She is a beautiful girl, with her own mind, that scares me too. How different we are, yet so very much the same, that scares me too. They just don't understand we just want to shelter them from all the bad that may come. Is that so awful of us? I miss the days she ran to me to fix the boo-boos. All it took was a kiss and maybe a band-aid. When she needed something she came to me. She still comes, but now it feels so much like I'm being used. Cause then I'm easily tossed aside. I miss the times she just talked and talked about all the silly little things, little girls talk about. Now, most of the time I just wish she would talk and not yell at me. I wish children would realize we are the farthest thing from their enemy. That life throws far bigger foes to fight in time. I have wished for so long that I did know, what I thought I knew then. I know live and learn. I agree with learning, but I just don't want it to be so hard. She is going to be 18 soon. I lost my Mom when I was 18. My Mom was only 37. I guess that is why I want to try to do so much to keep her from getting hurt, or learning the hard way. Because things can be real hard. It is not a fun way to learn things. It is also not the easiest to not have a Mom to talk to. Maybe that is why things do hurt for me, because she chooses to not let me in and one day I fear it will be too late for her to let me in. And that will also be hard.