My Cross To Bear

You're still my comfort when I don't want you to be. I can't help but talk to you every day. I can't help but to help you in your time of need, But who will help me? Who will wipe away my crystal clear tears as they fall, drip drip, from my innocent eyes? Whose hand will I see reaching into the sea to grab my hand as I drown in a wallowing sorrow I've created for myself? For now it's a phantom. An invisible being who hugs me while I sleep away my pain at night, Only to awake and feel it envelope me all over again. I don't want to cry anymore. Tasting the salty water of my insides as it slips down to my lips as I mutter words to myself I cannot bear to tell others. It makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to live this way anymore. Alone. Why do I feel so alone? As I fall off the cliff formed by my greatest fears over the lagoon of the monster within who will catch me? What's wrong with me? What have I ever done to deserve the great grand ball of grief that overshadows my good old giddy self? What have I done. I think back through my past but find no answer to the questions I yell up at the pitch black night sky. It all just echoes back to me and falls upon my shoulders with the tremendous weight of the entire world on my back. It's my splinter-filled wooden cross to bear. I'll carry it with me until I find refuge in a place where the Angels sing on high. My cross to bear to make me stronger with each step I take. My cross to bear.