My Cowardly Disease?

Do not mistake me my friend I appreciate your concern But it is not needed believe me You analyze all the small things I do! You worry about things that are not problems! I am fine! So what! If I get upset sometimes? We all do! But for no reason? Over no one? Recently more often? So what! If I get a little bit depressed sometimes? Most of us do! But over nothing? No one on the mind? Recently more often? So what? If I cry sometimes? Some of us do! But with no reason for these heavy tears? Tears that fall by their own means? Recently more often? So what? If I cut myself sometimes? We all... a few of us do! But feeling nothing before? During? Or after? And recently deeper and more often? You think I suffer from the mental disease depression! But you have seen me with my friends! Or with anyone I can talk to! Never was there a soul as happy and hyper! But watch me when I am alone, By myself, With time to think, That is when I go numb and the “depression” creeps up on me But there is nothing wrong with me! I refuse to be told I have this disease! You say it is a disease? And that it isn’t my fault? And that it can be treated? You want me to see a doctor! And to be plastered with the “depression” sticker! There is nothing wrong with me! You shall see! I shall go to your doctor! And prove I am fine! But what if you are right? And the doctor confirms it? What if I have depression? Where did this dark whole within my body come from? It is swirling and draining all the laughter and smiles from me It is the cowardly disease; It only creeps up on me when it knows I am alone Oh god what if it is true ? what if there is something wrong with me? I am scared now to go to the doctors incase it is true. If a disease is left untreated it gets worse right? So does that mean that I could get worse? Could the cold, deep, dark whole within my body spread and eventually surface through my skin on show for anyone to see? Do I have this disease? Is it mine? If I do and it is then it is my cowardly disease.