My Candid Poem

Sometimes I'm not sure if I am Me. I fall into the safe Despair, Regret, and Lamentation and the reindeer in my mind digs a hole in my heart to find a reason. I step outside the world for a moment and watch the hole, the hole filled with my rough red but quiet waves in my heart. Inside the deep deep silent waves there is that reindeer lying down, Observing the flat stars falling down. When the red waves from my heart flow over the reindeer The reindeer just closes its eyes still lying down on the silent waves. But when its white horns tore its skin, it abandons its horn, Instead of bones, And runs, Until the hooves worn out. Until its face is shattered. Until everything is gone. And finally The last step of the reindeer purls through my cheek Then I bait the reindeer antlers to find a new reindeer And when there are no horns left, I lay down, Started digging into the deep deep silent waves. Abandoning my legs Instead of my hands Abandoning my horns Instead of my bones To see myself hiding under my heart.