Mum

The worst thing that I can be, Is to be me, I feel like a black haze, Always in a daze, I can see all my negatives, I can’t even do being ill right, I can see the spiral turning round and round, I see me go, To and fro, Threading and shredding as I swallow, Your thoughts down, And around, Ripping me to pieces, Your tongue like razors, The razor that cuts me open, The same ones that scar me, Visually but without connectivity, My heart screams, As I bleed, I just need, A mummy there To hold me, Why wont you just Say my name? You done get me without it, You don’t get it without me, Why can’t you understand That this isn’t me, O mummy please just love me, Not because I did what you wanted, And became who you wanted Me to be, But because I carry on and live each day As myself and nobody else, Please just love me