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Mountain Stream

Lucent snake From lofted peaks it writhes Through jagged fissures and wind scarred ice Bewitched by Newton’s muse, wily serpent descends Gorging wide through meadows snared by wildflower’s charm Still, down it coils in stalking deftness More prey around the bend... Mountain Stream Trois-par-Huit (3-2-3)

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Robert Lindley

Date: 7/8/2014 9:34:00 PM

I truly loved this great write!!!! BBBBBBravooooooo!!!!

David Mohn

Date: 6/18/2014 12:16:00 PM

Changed "ensnared" to "snared" to make the syllable count correct

Faye Gibson

Date: 6/16/2014 9:13:00 PM

Really great, David. Worthy of a higher placement. Congratulations.

David Mohn
Date: 6/17/2014 10:16:00 PM

Thank you Faye...that is sweet of you to say

Sara Kendrick

Date: 6/16/2014 11:38:00 AM

I may copy and paste congrats but I have read your work and find it of exceptional quality…Sara

David Mohn
Date: 6/17/2014 10:17:00 PM

That means a lot coming from you Sara..thank you so much

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 6/16/2014 3:07:00 AM

Absolutely awesome, David! I love every line and your description of the winding snake/Mountain Stream is brilliant. Congratulations!

David Mohn
Date: 6/17/2014 10:19:00 PM

Thank you so much Carolyn...I value your opinion greatly...very much appreciated

Joyce Johnson

Date: 6/15/2014 3:34:00 PM

I wondered why this wasn't higher until I read Andrea's comment. I only counted 13 in that line and most of us pronounce flowers as one. Great poem though. Love, Joyce

David Mohn
Date: 6/17/2014 10:15:00 PM

Thank you so much for the kind comments Joyce

Carolyn Devonshire
Date: 6/16/2014 3:08:00 AM

Indeed, I would have liked to see this one ranked higher. It's one of the best I read.

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 6/15/2014 1:43:00 PM

Darn it for you..I read Andrea's comments..and although that line was off, your poem was one of the best. Congrats anyway..BG

David Mohn
Date: 6/17/2014 10:21:00 PM

Thank you Barbara...that means a lot coming from you

Paul Callus

Date: 6/15/2014 7:52:00 AM

Beautiful mountain stream compared to a wily serpent on the move! quite original! Congrats on a fine win. // paul

Joseph May

Date: 6/15/2014 6:40:00 AM

Very nice write David...congrats on the win

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 6/15/2014 5:49:00 AM

David a great one !! Awesome is the word ,,, loved the way it behaves serpentine ,, congrats on win !

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 6/15/2014 1:35:00 AM

Fine choice of the water of the body and fine win. Congrats, david

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/15/2014 1:13:00 AM

this one was good. . you are going to hate this, but line 5 was way off on syllable count. That is the only reason you were not with the regular winners. I hope you will keep entering my contests. your writing style is awesome and congrats for the HM.

David Mohn
Date: 6/15/2014 9:48:00 AM

Ooops...I totally missed that. Thanks for the comments and the HM placement...great contest!