More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

I made a wish upon a star and really got burned I made a wish upon a star and left Madonna breathless I hitched my wagon to a star but forgot my spacesuit The stars in my eyes turned out to be black holes I couldn’t rise to the occasion so I took some Viagra Did Harvey Wall Banger? Nope, Willy-Nilly slapped him silly I once had sex on a golf course but wasn’t up to par and got penalized three strokes A sex therapist counseled a maggot couple to make love in Earnest I decided to take a brisk walk but there was this plank… I WALKED that plank but they drained the pool so I cracked up I walked the line and it was a very thin line (A very fine line though) I walked the straight and narrow and had to stop for directions I made a molehill out of a mountain and the EPA was NOT amused I made another molehill out of a mountain and the CLIMBERS were not amused I made ANOTHER mole hill out of a mountain but some mole dug up some dirt on me I was shamed when the scandal was published in The Holey-Moley Enquirer So I dug up some dirt on THEM and completely ruined my manicure… If life is a rat race, God needs to set out some traps Life was a bowl of cherries til I cracked my tooth on a pit Speaking of pits, I escaped The Pit and the Pendulum but (Oh, rats) Speaking of rodents, three-blind-mice ran into a herd of stampeding lemmings and quickly took the plunge…