Monstrosity Me

Who am I? I sit and wonder But I can't be myself Never free from influence Never free from their grasps Trapped in my own insecurities Yet the only certainty is my tendencies Self destructive at best, and yet still just as fun A monster unseen Lying, Waiting, And yet will see the light of day, Only when I have gone away Not from existence does my body fade, But trapped in a soul not my own While I lie and wait, destroying this body So that someday I may free myself Not from their scrutiny But the monstrosity that is me