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Mileage On My Heart

The thought of seeing you again fills me with dread I know the day will come; it’s inevitable Mileage on my heart, feels like a worn out retread Recycled emotions are undesirable I know the day will come; it’s inevitable My spirits sink at the mere mention of your name Recycled emotions are undesirable There was once a time your face set my heart aflame My spirits sink at the mere mention of your name What happened to those days? You were my special man There was once a time your face set my heart aflame This point we’ve reached was surely not in our game plan What happened to those days? You were my special man Our spring turned to winter faster than I could blink This point we’ve reached was surely not in our game plan Stop the world, let me off; I’m standing on the brink Our spring turned to winter faster than I could blink Mileage on my heart, feels like a worn out retread Stop the world, let me off; I’m standing on the brink The thought of seeing you again fills me with dread By Carolyn Devonshire For Paula Swanson’s “Pantoum” contest

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Robert Pettit

Date: 2/17/2011 3:34:00 PM

This is a fine example of a pantoum poem. I see this one also won for you in a contest. I wasn't around here yet when this contest took place. Congratulations.

Dr Hitendra Mehta

Date: 12/14/2010 12:33:00 AM

Many congrats Carolyn on winning coveted spot in Paulas Pantoum contest with this beautiful write. Luv/best wishes........Hitendra Mehta

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 12/13/2010 11:27:00 AM

Congratulations on your win Carolyn in Paula's Pantoum contest. Love, Carol

Deb Radke

Date: 12/13/2010 5:08:00 AM

This is such a sad reflection of lost love. I love the use of metaphor in this poem. So many vivid pictures are here to reflect our lost loves, our lost hopes. Congratulations on being among the winning entries in the pantoum contest. This poem is one of the best I read of all the entries.

Noel Villarosa

Date: 12/12/2010 10:06:00 PM

Carolyn, this is really amazing of putting your story in a Pantoum form, very challenging one but you did it perfectly and it flows vividly. Congratulations on your 7th place win on Paula's contest. (^_^) Noel.

Tahera Mannan

Date: 12/12/2010 8:39:00 PM

What a beautiful last line. The emotional journey is awesome. Many congratulations dear friend for this win.

Audrey Haick

Date: 12/12/2010 12:42:00 PM

Congratulations on your 7th Place Win in Paula's Pantoum Contest, Seafaress!!! Heartfelt and melancholy write, my friend. Much love, Audrey

Sara Kendrick

Date: 12/12/2010 11:47:00 AM

Congratulations on your win in the contest..Sara

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 12/12/2010 5:50:00 AM

Congratulations on this well deserved win in the contest of Paula, Carolyn

C.C Bloomsfield

Date: 12/2/2010 6:45:00 AM

This is an outstanding poem. . A def. Favorite . .and one of the best poems i've read of yours.I entered my haiku in andrea's contest ,at last . .i listened to you :).If i come last,we celebrate my failure :)hugs! How are you?

Deb Radke

Date: 11/29/2010 11:05:00 AM

Your poem speaks to me today, Carolyn. 'Mileage on my heart...' Thank you for the kind review of my poetry. I think I may have found a good place to write. Take care.

Charles Melody Lightning Ink

Date: 11/26/2010 4:57:00 AM

Wow... today, we love, tomorrow we hate. some times life gives it's meaning thus, BUT TO LOOK AT A PORTRAIT FOR A LONG TIME KEEPS THE MEMORY FRESH, GLANCING AT IT MERELY AND PUTTING IT AWAY MAKES US FORGET THE REAL THING IN THE PORTRAIT SO QUICKLY... LIGHTENING INK, SON.

Sylvia Coulstock

Date: 11/25/2010 6:18:00 AM

First of all Carolyn I want to say that I love your heart.And to thank you for your comments on my latest work.I truly appreciate them.Now to your own piece here which I can see is very skilful.I can understand how this Pantoum works and that you have achieved it very well.I love the rhythm and flow of your words.And how you have stayed true to your theme,putting in your emotions while accomplishing the challenge set by Paula.I wish you the best of luck with this in her contest.Love June

Nette Onclaud

Date: 11/24/2010 10:58:00 PM

such pathos in this riveting write, carolyn! how you wove the theme into a wonderfful maze of rich and poignant language is remarkable! i'd place this high in the pantoum contest! thanks for visiting my thread with your encouraging thoughts. warmest, nette

Andrew Crisci

Date: 11/24/2010 10:47:00 PM

I love your poem, Carolyn! The passion you felt for this man still makes your heart sad. It's so hard to forget someone you have loved so truly and deeply. They say that time heals all wounds...but in this case it seems it won't, because your love is still too strong and real. I like to wish you a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving Day with your loved ones. Thanks for your heartfelt and encouraging comments. Peace and love, Andrew.

James Marshall Goff

Date: 11/24/2010 8:21:00 PM

honest poem! Carolyn! and thanks for the congrats! Happy Thanksgiving!!! just got done makin' my favorite ...."chocolate pecan pie" jimbo

David Byrne

Date: 11/24/2010 6:56:00 PM

Great imaginative write Carolyn, wonderful metaphors!

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 11/24/2010 4:08:00 PM

Happy thanksgiving day, Carolyn with this beautiful pantoum on the matters of heart,

Stephen Parker

Date: 11/24/2010 3:00:00 PM

Sounds like you have logged a few miles with this bartered soul! Sounds like there is still an ember smoldering in the fire. Your chronic dread has stifled all hope and squelched your peace. A good, emotive description of your feelings!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/24/2010 2:51:00 PM

What an interesting topic you did, Carolyn. Is this for a real person in your life? I enjoyed reading your panoum entry! Luv, Andrea

Joe Flach

Date: 11/24/2010 12:00:00 PM

Wow, I am so glad you were the first to take me up on my offer - reading such wonderful poetry helps me fulfill my promise. This is a terrific Pantoum with such a powerful story. I feel the dread the narrator confesses and the angst in her heart. I write few poems in this style but just love reading them when they are written as wonderfully as this. You are a very talented and wonderful lady - thank you for befriending me here on the soup! Joe

Ravindra K Kapoor

Date: 11/24/2010 10:45:00 AM

Brilliantly composed a heart touching write from your seasoned pen my friend. You have sketched very beautifully the feelings of love and hatred both which keep changing in our hearts like the change of seasons. Great write. Love and best wishes always.....Ravindra.......Carolyn Devonshire

Timothy Brumley

Date: 11/24/2010 8:43:00 AM

This is an excellent poem Carolyn, well done! And thank you for your comments. I wasn't surprised to see Deborah, Amy, Constance, Andrea and John in the winner's circle, but I was surprised when I didn't find you there! Oh well, to each his/her own I guess... better luck next time:)

Charles Henderson

Date: 11/23/2010 10:39:00 PM

hey girl, you did good on this one. I like your story line better than mine, although mine did turn out better than I hoped when I started it. Check your soup mail.

Ralph Taylor

Date: 11/23/2010 2:06:00 PM

Excellent entry, Carolyn. Enjoyed. Good luck. Read your soup mail too late to react. Sorry. Thanks for your kind words. Have a great Thanksgiving. Will be out of contact till 12 Dec. Going on a cruise without my computer. xxxRalph